It used to be that if you asked for directions in Maine, you were asking for trouble. Over the years I’ve collected some examples:
How much further is it to Freeport? . . .
About 25,000 miles the way you're headed.
How do I get to Skowhegan? . . .
Don't you move a goddamned inch.
Where does this road go?. . . .
Don't go nowhere. Stays right here.
How do I get to Boothbay Harbor? . . .
Can't get there from here.
How do we get to Topsham? . . . Don't rightly know . . . Well, how about Gorham then? . . . Nope, don't know that ithah . . . You don't seem to know much . . . Ayah, but I ain't lost.
How do you get to Bangor? . . . Well, I usually get my brother to drive me.